Working through a conversation in the role of a consultant was tough! I see how each step is vital to creating rapport and trust between the client and the consultant. What really surprised me is that this approach also created credibility for the consultant. By listening and asking really clear, non-confrontive (or confrontative) questions, the consultant established their role as the expert. It had nothing to do with being an expert in what ever the problem is!
My instincts were to jump to a solution mode and offer my ideas on improvement. This happened even when I knew that the objective of the exercise to was to practice active inquiry. I have often found myself in situations where others have done the same thing – I share an issue or problem and the listener jumps to offer a solution. Often, this happens before I have even finished my exploration of the problem at hand. As expected, my response, as a “client”, is to not want to share any more, to shut down, to become defensive.
Another thing that I walked away with was how to make consulting easier for someone else. Currently, I may need to hire other consultants to supplement my skill set for some projects. Already, I understand how important it is to share details, provide “back story“ that is pertinent and to stay focused on the problem. This exercise will also affect how I interview and hire other consultants in the future.
4 responses so far ↓
1
Jennifer Kunc
// Sep 20, 2009 at 7:21 pm
APT ~
I feel the same way about the art of active listening. In the HRD overview course this Summer, we did an activity on active listening and it was eye opening. I’ve always thought of myself as a good listener, but when we put ourselves in situations like this where we have to practice, it really tests our abilities. I find it difficult sometimes because I want to offer solutions and advice, rather than have the “client” figure it out themselves. This is something I know I’ll have to work on throughout any consulting experience. As we’ve learned, it needs to be 50/50… so I too have to watch myself in wanting to provide answers or share my ideas for improvement.
Good luck in applying this in the future when you hire new consultants! I think it’s wonderful you are able to take something directly out of the classroom and apply it in the real-world… let me know how it goes!
2
Jonathan
// Sep 23, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Hey APT,
Indeed, building rapport and trust are such delicate issues/processes. I’ve also found that pure and exploratory inquiry do amazing things to help move in that direction. When I can really stay present with the process, the outcomes are very often a sense of connection, deeper rapport and relationship (than whatever there was previously), mutual respect, and more trust.
I’ve worked a lot on active listening and done various learning exercises. However, I still find many a time that all that good theory (and practice too) go right out the window and I jump in giving advice and solutions way too early. The result is most often quite predictable in that the other person gets defensive, shuts down, or gets upset.
And I also know when someone else jumps in on me, giving advise, I also shut down. Usually, I don’t feel heard, and even a lack of respect. Funny, I’m pretty sure it’s not the intentional outcome the other would have wanted; but habit, or impatience, or just lack of awareness of the subtle skill.
I’m interested to know more how you plan to use the inquiry skills when interviewing or hiring another consultant. I couldn’t quite catch it from your post. Is it that you would ask them to tell a story and listen more using the various levels of inquiry?
3
aptitude
// Sep 24, 2009 at 8:29 am
Jonathan – I was more focused on being a better client when I am farming out work. I spent some time thinking about how to be a better communicator on the other side of the equation, the client side. I think this will look like being clear and concise and not “thinking out loud” as much. As the consultant, its confirmed that communication is the most important tool we have in our toolbox. But communication is that two way street idea… There is room for improvement on the client side too!
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Terry Carter
// Sep 28, 2009 at 12:21 pm
This was an interesting exchange; it seems to me that those who have good “consulting skills” are also in a position to be a good client — to know that there’s a process involved, to recognize your own role in the problem, and to be open to alternative ideas. And, certainly, respectful listening, as you’ve all pointed out, works well on both sides:-)
tjc
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